TRUST ME, I GET THE FEAR. I KNOW HOW TERRIFYING IT CAN BE TO ACTUALLY STAND UP FOR WHAT YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP, AND HOW DEVASTATED YOU’D BE IF HE DIDN’T COMMIT.
I know the pain of feeling like you care more than he does...and how crappy it feels not to be able to do anything about it.
I get the desperation of trying to find reasons why he hasn’t committed to you…and know about that terrible pit in your stomach when you compare yourself to his ex’s (that he’s committed to! Ugh!).
I know how it feels to constant wonder, "Is something wrong with me?"
I'VE SO BEEN THERE. I ALSO KNOW THAT IT'S POSSIBLE TO BE UNBELIEVABLY HAPPY AND HAVE EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED IN A RELATIONSHIP. (SERIOUSLY!)
After I graduated from college, I thought I was living the dream. I had been dating my boyfriend for five years and we were finally(!) moving in to together. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but I just knew that getting our own place would solve our problems and take our relationship to the next level. I wanted to be married and have a family in the next few years, so I was obviously eager to transition out of “college-relationship” to “real life, romantic, grown-up relationship”.
I WAS WILLING TO GIVE THE RELATIONSHIP MY ALL AND DO ANYTHING TO GET THE COMMITMENT AND REASSURANCE I SO DESPERATELY WANTED FROM MY BOYFRIEND.
I made sure he knew what a catch I was. I thought I was showing him why he should commit to me.
What I didn’t realize was - everything I did to try and get that commitment was actually pushing him away.
Needless to say, that relationship didn’t work out. Afterwards, I was devastated that I was single again. That ANOTHER guy didn’t want to commit to me. That I was once more alone.
Even though I was sad to be on my own again, I used that “single” time to do some reflection. I thought it was perplexing (and downright unfair!) that so many women yearn for a commitment from a man only to be let down.
Why is it that you don’t like any of the men that actually want to be in a committed relationship with you, and the men you want to be committed to don’t seem to want a relationship?!?
After a few months of tears and a few cases of wine, I made a proclamation.
I made it my mission to figure out the perplexities of men and commitment.
It took me three years, tons of research, coaching, counseling, dating (lots of dating…), and self-help books (not to mention plenty of ‘trial and error’ experiences), but I finally figured it out.
There are (quite a few) specific reasons why a man doesn’t commit to a woman. There are SO many things that women do wrong in relationships (all the time!) that hold men back from declaring “You’re the one!”
And best of all, there are actually secret ways to get men to commit to you. And now I had them.
FAST FORWARD TO NOW – I’VE JUST HAD THE BEST, MOST EPIC YEAR OF MY LIFE.
I married my dream man on a Riviera Mayan rooftop overlooking the ocean, surrounding by 46 of my family members and closest friends. I had my dream fairytale wedding, complete with a ball gown princess dress (hell if I care that we were sweating in Mexico!), and the most amazing wedding week EVER (yes, I also made my wedding into a week-long event). Matt and I had an incredibly romantic honeymoon traveling on a luxury cruise liner throughout Europe, and ate and laughed our way through eleven different countries together.
We’ve had multiple parties thrown for us and our marriage, and couldn’t be more blessed to be surrounded by our family, friends, and love. We have a beautiful four bedroom townhome, we're both working our dream jobs (remotely!), and spend tons of time together laughing, cooking, and binge watching Netflix. The loving relationship we have is way better than anything I could've imagined, and to top it off – I absolutely LOVE my life.
That incredible happiness and deep love is what I want for you, too. And it IS possible…
SO ASK YOURSELF, WHAT DO YOU REALLY DESIRE? WHAT DOES YOUR IDEAL LIFE AND EPIC LOVE STORY LOOK LIKE, AND HOW MUCH IS IT COSTING YOU IN PAIN, uncertainty, AND IN YEARS GONE BY TO CONTINUE ON WITH THIS STATUS QUO?
How great would it be if you could stop wondering when it'll be your turn for your happily ever after, and start marveling at the amazing relationship that’s everything you’ve always dreamt about?