This week, I’m excited to share a practical, super easy way to know if you’re in the right (or wrong) relationship with a guy. Or, if you're not in a relationship yet, I spill a fast, spot-on way to know if he's even worth pursuing!
Quickly access the new video here.
I hear a lot of women complain that their “relationships with men are so hard” or that “dating this one guy is a ton work” or “I’m putting so much time and effort into this man.”
The thing is – if you feel like your relationship is hard, or if it seems like a lot of work (especially if it’s still in the beginning stages), you’re probably in the wrong relationship.
When a woman feels like this, it usually means that she’s putting more into the relationship than she’s getting in return, or, that she’s lowering her standards and expectations for this man. (See last weeks video on why your standards are so important.) And, neither of those things will lead into you landing a great man or having an extraordinary relationship.
This seems like a no brainer, but here’s the secret:
Relationships are easy.
Or I should say: GOOD, happy, healthy relationships are easy.
Relationships (especially at the beginning) should be fun! They should be exciting, mainly effortless, and both parties should be equally eager to spend time with each other.
Of course relationships do take some effort, but if things aren’t easy at the beginning, what do you think will happen down the road when life’s natural hardships arise?
Think about your relationship with your best friend. You probably call and text each other the same amount, want to make plans together often and communicating is as easy as breathing.
If you had a friend that didn’t call you back, didn’t make plans with you or just strung you along; you’d probably stop bothering with them and put your effort into other friendships, right?!
But when men do that very same thing to women, women tend to make excuses for the man’s behavior rather than accept the fact that she may be getting rejected, strung along, or that (gasp!) he’s just not that into her.
“Oh, he’s just busy with work right now. Once he finishes this project, he’ll call me more.” Or, “his family’s in town so I’ll just wait for him to make time for me afterwards.” Sound familiar?
And then we sit around and wait and worry and waste all of this time on a man who may or may not even ask us out when all is said and done.
How pathetic! (Don't worry, I've done it too...)
A REAL man (that’s interested in you) WILL make time to see you. He WILL call you back and make plans to impress you.
Trust me on this.
If a man isn’t putting in the same amount of effort as you, if you feel like the relationship is “work” or think that he will eventually change and act the way you want him to…
(I'll help you out here...)
Kick. Him. To. The. Curb.
There ARE men out there that will treat you the way you want to be treated and deserve to be treated from the very beginning of your relationship.
But if you waste your time and energy on men that aren’t giving you what you want, or make excuses when guys you’re really into are “too busy” to text/call/see you – you could very well let your Mr. Right pass you by.
So do yourself a favor. If you know deep down that a man isn’t putting in the same amount of effort as you are, or that you’re still not being treated like you truly want to be – don’t wait around for things to change. (They won’t.)
Move onto the next one!
Sure, if he asks to see you again sometime in the future (and you’re cool with meeting up with him) then go for it. But don’t dedicate all of your time and thoughts to a man who isn’t dedicating all of this time and thoughts to you.
You’re happily ever after is out there, gorgeous. You just need to tell yourself you’re worthy of it.
Lots of love,
P.S. - Don't forget to check out the latest video!