Ah, the world of online dating. It's true that dating total strangers can be disastrous and depressing, but believe it or not, some incredible relationships and marriages have come from online dating sites.
Even though there are high-quality men ready to meet amazing women (like you!) on those sites, many women make big mistakes that leave them missing out on potential relationships.
And I would know. Because - I was one of those women.
I actually FILTERED OUT MY HUSBAND.
Little did I know that my (now) sexy, smart, and secure husband crafted a beautiful email to me on OkCupid - only to hit send (hey, it's scary to be vulnerable and reach out to people we're attracted to - even for men!) and receive a flashing red error message that read:
"You are outside of this user's filter requirements.
Message blocked from user."
I know, I know. It's a bit mortifying now (and kind of funny), but I just couldn't believe it when he told me this story! Luckily, we met in person a few months later when I accidentally stole his seat at a bar (phew!) - but could you imagine?
What if I NEVER met my husband because of my limiting beliefs about what I thought I wanted at the time?
We've all heard stories of people finding their match and exclaiming, "He was totally unexpected!", or "He was different than my usual type", or "Thank goodness I gave him a shot because at first I wasn't even interested, and now we're getting married!" (Okay, okay, getting carried away here, but you know what I mean.)
How many great men have YOU missed out on because you decided to only date one type of guy? Or have you too filtered out someone amazing because of height or age or zodiac sign? (Maybe that last one's just me...)
I'm not saying that you should settle for any random guy or stay in a bad relationship, butmany women make the classic mistake of getting wrapped up in a "perfect list" and missing out on a great man in the process. I know I almost did.
I frequently advise women to have a list of desired qualities in a man, but to be open to the unexpected.
You never know how your prince charming will show up in your life - so you need to make sure you're not unintentionally blocking him from sweeping you off your feet. Or bar stool... ;)
Speaking of blocking dream guys, have you finished your 5 Ways to Be Irresistible Guidebook yet?
If so, that's amazing! You've probably discovered a thing or two that's been holding you back from attracting high-quality men, and are (hopefully!) implementing the secrets to becoming an irresistible man-magnet as we speak. Yeah, girl! :)
If you haven't started it yet (or just want an irresistible woman confidence boost!), you can jump in immediately by clicking the link below!
Access your guide HERE!
Lots of love,
When I was single, I stumbled across a quote that forever changed my outlook on myself and relationships. To this day, I still LOVE this saying and live by it wholeheartedly.
The genius Dr. Seuss writes,
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
I’ll add on my own follow up quote, too:
If you like me for who I am – GREAT! If you don’t like me for who I am – EVEN BETTER! That means less time I’ll waste on someone who doesn’t like the real me, and more time I get to spend with people that love and accept me exactly as I am.
A little bold and sassy right?! Feel free to steal it. ;)
When it comes to dating new guys and meeting new people, many women feel the need to put on a ‘front’ or act like a different, “better” version of themselves in order for people to like them.
That’s totally understandable (I’ve even done it before!), but ultimately, it’s going to hurt your chances of having happy, loving, successful relationships.
Of course it’s scary to show people the real you, but what happens if you don’t?
If you convince a hot veterinarian that you love all things furry (to bond over something common and increase conversation), but you’re actually allergic to anything with four legs…that’ll probably end terribly. Either he’ll find out that you lied (unattractive), or he’ll assume that you’re not secure enough to show him who you really are (which is a deal-breaker for high-quality men).
Sure, maybe Mr. Vet doesn’t want anything to do with you after he learns about your aversion to animals, but if he doesn’t want you as you are, then WHY would you want to be with HIM anyways?
And if you didn’t come clean with him for weeks (or even months), look how long you just wasted on a man that wasn’t your Mr. Right in the first place!
Being who you are and saying what you feel doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone will like you and all the boys will flock to you. Actually, there will definitely be people who don’t like you, don’t resonate with you, or aren’t attracted to you. But that’s okay!
If you’re truly being yourself, and you find the people that do like you for exactly who you are, that’s when relationship magic happens.
It’s incredibly freeing to be yourself, not worry about ‘saying or doing the wrong thing’, and be able to express whatever you feel in relationships.
And it is possible to do this. You just have to pull up your big girl pants, stop worrying so much about what other people will think, and rock your authentic self.
Give it a try. I promise, ladies – you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Want even more proof that being yourself (even if you love Harry Potter and The Bachelorette) is insanely attractive to men? Check out this week’s video HERE!
Not only do you get to meet Matt (my prince charming), you’ll also hear his tips for landing a high quality guy and attracting great men.
You’re welcome. ;)
Cheers to being YOU, gorgeous!
This week, I’m excited to share a practical, super easy way to know if you’re in the right (or wrong) relationship with a guy. Or, if you're not in a relationship yet, I spill a fast, spot-on way to know if he's even worth pursuing!
Quickly access the new video here.
I hear a lot of women complain that their “relationships with men are so hard” or that “dating this one guy is a ton work” or “I’m putting so much time and effort into this man.”
The thing is – if you feel like your relationship is hard, or if it seems like a lot of work (especially if it’s still in the beginning stages), you’re probably in the wrong relationship.
When a woman feels like this, it usually means that she’s putting more into the relationship than she’s getting in return, or, that she’s lowering her standards and expectations for this man. (See last weeks video on why your standards are so important.) And, neither of those things will lead into you landing a great man or having an extraordinary relationship.
This seems like a no brainer, but here’s the secret:
Relationships are easy.
Or I should say: GOOD, happy, healthy relationships are easy.
Relationships (especially at the beginning) should be fun! They should be exciting, mainly effortless, and both parties should be equally eager to spend time with each other.
Of course relationships do take some effort, but if things aren’t easy at the beginning, what do you think will happen down the road when life’s natural hardships arise?
Think about your relationship with your best friend. You probably call and text each other the same amount, want to make plans together often and communicating is as easy as breathing.
If you had a friend that didn’t call you back, didn’t make plans with you or just strung you along; you’d probably stop bothering with them and put your effort into other friendships, right?!
But when men do that very same thing to women, women tend to make excuses for the man’s behavior rather than accept the fact that she may be getting rejected, strung along, or that (gasp!) he’s just not that into her.
“Oh, he’s just busy with work right now. Once he finishes this project, he’ll call me more.” Or, “his family’s in town so I’ll just wait for him to make time for me afterwards.” Sound familiar?
And then we sit around and wait and worry and waste all of this time on a man who may or may not even ask us out when all is said and done.
How pathetic! (Don't worry, I've done it too...)
A REAL man (that’s interested in you) WILL make time to see you. He WILL call you back and make plans to impress you.
Trust me on this.
If a man isn’t putting in the same amount of effort as you, if you feel like the relationship is “work” or think that he will eventually change and act the way you want him to…
(I'll help you out here...)
Kick. Him. To. The. Curb.
There ARE men out there that will treat you the way you want to be treated and deserve to be treated from the very beginning of your relationship.
But if you waste your time and energy on men that aren’t giving you what you want, or make excuses when guys you’re really into are “too busy” to text/call/see you – you could very well let your Mr. Right pass you by.
So do yourself a favor. If you know deep down that a man isn’t putting in the same amount of effort as you are, or that you’re still not being treated like you truly want to be – don’t wait around for things to change. (They won’t.)
Move onto the next one!
Sure, if he asks to see you again sometime in the future (and you’re cool with meeting up with him) then go for it. But don’t dedicate all of your time and thoughts to a man who isn’t dedicating all of this time and thoughts to you.
You’re happily ever after is out there, gorgeous. You just need to tell yourself you’re worthy of it.
Lots of love,
P.S. - Don't forget to check out the latest video!
If you're like most of my clients (and like most women), you probably want to find a good man that cherishes you, fights for you, and commits to you wholeheartedly.
You'd love to be with someone that plans special dates for you, surprises you (in a good way...), and constantly tries to impress you and win you over.
And having a loving, loyal, communicative relationship where you're both head over heels for each other would just be the icing on the cake.
I mean, that sounds amazing right?!
All of that IS possible to have (trust me, I have it!), but what most women don't realize is that it's actually THE WOMAN'S job to make sure that she gets everything she wants out of a relationship.
I'll say that again:
It's YOUR job to make sure that you get everything you want out a relationship (not his!).
YOU need to set the standards of what you expect, what you want, what you will and won't tolerate and exactly how you'd like to be treated from the beginning of a relationship. And, you need to keep setting your expectations throughout.
Ladies, men want to make you happy. They want to please you. The top quality guys will put in the effort to woo you, impress you, and win you over, but you need to tell them what that looks like first!
As much as we'd like to think so, men aren't mind readers. They can't give us what we want, hope for, or know how we expect them to treat us until we tell them.
Getting and keeping the relationship of your dreams starts with setting high(er) standards. And in my latest video, I tell you exactly how to start doing that.
Go land that top quality man, beautiful.
You've got this!